It’s doubtful that I’m speaking out of school when I say, we all have them: those moments where everything seems too hard and we can’t help but lose our temper. The kids have been tag-teaming asking you for a multitude of seemingly trivial things for the past 5 hours, dinner just can’t seem to get finished, the loads of washing have multiplied like fruit flies… and it’s only 3pm. So you lose it. Naturally. But what can we do to get past a feeling of creeping mum-rage?
Anger is a valid emotion, like any other, that seeks to be heard – sometimes even when we don’t particularly invite it. Often it alerts us to things that need our attention, or highlights areas of our lives that are compromised. We may be sleep-deprived, postnatally depleted, starved of time to ourselves, living through a pandemic, under financial strain, experiencing tension with a partner or loved ones, hormonally imbalanced, or simply have unmet self-care needs.
There are many and varied causes, potentially even deeply rooted in trauma, or addiction, unhealed childhood hurts, or a host of other complex core issues. None of those is necessarily simple to address. However, in the moment, the simple and straightforward ideas mentioned in the checklist below can help you recover from an untamed outbreak of feeling and get back on track.
It may be be helpful to keep in mind also that sometimes the emotional dams need to break to release the way we are feeling out into the world. Sometimes, those wild and honest emotions are just the ones we need to move forward or out of an unhealthy habit, or to force us to address something that is no longer tenable, and make a change for the better. It’s helpful to consider that, in time, you just may be grateful that something become unbearable and led to different decisions.
Above it all, be kind to yourself mamma, you’re only human!