Shift Your Focus to What You’re NOT Choosing, and See What Happens…

Shift Your Focus to What You’re NOT Choosing, and See What Happens…

In this big busy world of ours, it’s so easy to tip into overwhelm. And sometimes the best way to beat that overwhelm is with the use of two simple letters. N and O.

Taking it one step further, sometimes we think we have to make a choice to do, be or say things when actually we could just choose space. Slow your roll and see, I want to say. Take some time and space for yourself and see how different your life feels.

It’s all in the brain

We know that our subconscious mind speaks a symbolic language and only comprehends or responds to the image of something – as opposed to the ‘will-nots’ and ‘do-nots’ and the more language-based operations of our evolved ego brain. In that way focusing on what you don’t want, only attracts you to it (and it to you). Because when you focus on something, you notice it more. It’s the buy a red car, see red cars everywhere phenomenon and put simply, it’s brain science.

Although I am a big believer in optimism and positive thinking, there is still a place in life for the spaces in between the doing: I can appreciate wholeheartedly the choice not-to-do or not-to-be something. The emptiness where there ‘should’ be something is sometimes a most beautiful thing allowing slowness and spaciousness to take the place of obligation.

Abstract? Yes, a little. Listen close to the breakdown.

What is option parallax and why does it matter?

This modern world that we live in gives us so many ways to do things, to know things and to choose from a million options. I want to have a happier life, I must do more exercise and meditation, I must eat more healthy foods, I must change my attitude and think positively. Be this, do that! There are so many imperatives in the huge amount of information we are exposed to on the daily that it can be overwhelming. There is a made-up term I have for this: ‘option parallax’ means there are so many choices before that you are unable to make any choice at all.

Having another of those beautiful and very real conversations with a dear friend of mine recently, I realised that sometimes choosing not to do something is the most enlightened choice you can make. By leaving spaces in life to let things grow, and by choosing not to be / do / say a multitude of things is potentially the most empowering action. The things we choose not to do are just as important as, even crucial to creating, the life we choose.

This end of year season I wish you the memory of your empowerment, I wish for you to know deeply of your right to choose, or not to choose. I wish for you to gain a rewnewsa sense of your ultimate freedom. I bless you with as clear a vision of the spaces between things as the things themselves. Go well, be strong, be whole, and most of all…. be you.


Alena Turley is an Australian mentor for mothers. Founder of the pioneering blog, the Soul Mama Hub, her wellbeing membership offers a powerful pathway for mothers ready to go from over-extended, stuck in the daily grind, to empowered, inspired and energised so they can become the CHANGEMAKERS they dream of being.

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